New York Rangers - Heller
Oct 4, 2020 22:10:50 GMT -6
Maple Leafs GM (Tiago) and Canucks GM (Heller) like this
Post by Flames GM (Beamer) on Oct 4, 2020 22:10:50 GMT -6
Beamer - Welp, it's time for that dreaded interview with Heller....might as well get it over...welcome Commish from another Mother.
Question 1. How do you see your Rangers stacking up in SCD this season?
Heller - Well just like our IRL counterparts, we're in the tail-end of our rebuild. I hope to shed off a couple more pieces in favor of youth and inject that into the roster. Any sort of playoff contention is nice but it's house money at this point, we're looking toward the future and striving toward greatness!
Beamer - I love house money too.. .especially the stuff you find in the couch...OH, THAT KIND OF HOUSE MONEY..just too bad you don't have the #1 pick to get Lafreniere or Beckett's BFF Kaapo Kakko to go along with you players and prospects.
Question 2. Is there any one in this league that you'd love to give a double suplex too?
Heller - Well, if I say you, I’m worried about my safety in this league, and if I say Drew he’d probably hunt me down...so let’s go WildChild. He won’t have time to get a “what’s up” off in time before the suplex comes in
Beamer - I'm pretty spry for an old guy, so you are right to fear for your safety...especially when I was ready to drive the US to meet up with Louis for a "impeach" Heller meeting....yah, I'd fear Drew...no real reason, but fear him all the same. Wild Child is a safe bet. Voodoo would also be a satisfactory answer...he'd probably snap like a twig. Question 3. Given 20 ‘destructible’ light bulbs (which breaks at certain height), and a building with 100 floors, how do you determine the height that the light bulb breaks?
Heller - Hmm, that’s a tough one. I say you start at the 69th floor, for obvious reasons. Then if that’s too much, you go down to the 30th floor and drop one wearing a Henrik Lundqvist jersey, tears running down your face (ok, maybe that was just me). Then end it on the first floor because that’s what overall pick the Rangers have IRL sunglasses
Beamer - You lost me at 69...I had to quickly go to Pornhub...I'm back now. Hopefully the tears are dried up for King Henrik.
Question 4. What is the philosophy of Martial Arts?
Heller - Man, this is bringing some serious Craig flashbacks...I’m not sure on the scientific definition, but I always prefer Phil Kessel’s philosophy. If your opponent is bigger than you, just start slashing at his legs like a lumberjack
Beamer - I like it....do you smell that...it's hot dogs....mmmmmm.
Last Question (and then I'm grabbing a hot dog). Are your parents disappointed with your career aspirations?
Heller - Oh, for sure. And so am I. But hey, at least I can tell them I’m the commissioner of the #1 fantasy hockey league in town sunglasses
Beamer - Must be a pretty small town to be a #1 commish there. Nice chatting with Heller. Best of luck this season and be sure to stretch before suplexing Wild Child ...we don't need any GMs on the LTIR.
Question 1. How do you see your Rangers stacking up in SCD this season?
Heller - Well just like our IRL counterparts, we're in the tail-end of our rebuild. I hope to shed off a couple more pieces in favor of youth and inject that into the roster. Any sort of playoff contention is nice but it's house money at this point, we're looking toward the future and striving toward greatness!
Beamer - I love house money too.. .especially the stuff you find in the couch...OH, THAT KIND OF HOUSE MONEY..just too bad you don't have the #1 pick to get Lafreniere or Beckett's BFF Kaapo Kakko to go along with you players and prospects.
Question 2. Is there any one in this league that you'd love to give a double suplex too?
Heller - Well, if I say you, I’m worried about my safety in this league, and if I say Drew he’d probably hunt me down...so let’s go WildChild. He won’t have time to get a “what’s up” off in time before the suplex comes in
Beamer - I'm pretty spry for an old guy, so you are right to fear for your safety...especially when I was ready to drive the US to meet up with Louis for a "impeach" Heller meeting....yah, I'd fear Drew...no real reason, but fear him all the same. Wild Child is a safe bet. Voodoo would also be a satisfactory answer...he'd probably snap like a twig. Question 3. Given 20 ‘destructible’ light bulbs (which breaks at certain height), and a building with 100 floors, how do you determine the height that the light bulb breaks?
Heller - Hmm, that’s a tough one. I say you start at the 69th floor, for obvious reasons. Then if that’s too much, you go down to the 30th floor and drop one wearing a Henrik Lundqvist jersey, tears running down your face (ok, maybe that was just me). Then end it on the first floor because that’s what overall pick the Rangers have IRL sunglasses
Beamer - You lost me at 69...I had to quickly go to Pornhub...I'm back now. Hopefully the tears are dried up for King Henrik.
Question 4. What is the philosophy of Martial Arts?
Heller - Man, this is bringing some serious Craig flashbacks...I’m not sure on the scientific definition, but I always prefer Phil Kessel’s philosophy. If your opponent is bigger than you, just start slashing at his legs like a lumberjack
Beamer - I like it....do you smell that...it's hot dogs....mmmmmm.
Last Question (and then I'm grabbing a hot dog). Are your parents disappointed with your career aspirations?
Heller - Oh, for sure. And so am I. But hey, at least I can tell them I’m the commissioner of the #1 fantasy hockey league in town sunglasses
Beamer - Must be a pretty small town to be a #1 commish there. Nice chatting with Heller. Best of luck this season and be sure to stretch before suplexing Wild Child ...we don't need any GMs on the LTIR.